Week of September 8th, 2003

Friday: Well town meeting went well and now it is lunchtime here at Sikorsky. This weekend looks like a mixed bag of events. One thing I know for sure is that I am going to a Sci Fi party tonight. Tomorrows Grafton Park Festival is on my list but, I havent got confirmation that I can get in. There are limited entries and I am applying late. Hope my buddy can get me in. Sunday is up for grabs but I do not want to go back into CT.

Thursday Night: This weekend has been changed and I scrambled today so much trying to put it all together that I didnt get a workout this evening. Damn! It looks like I will be meeting up with friends Keith and possably Ed to do a mountain bike festival instead. The event is called the Grafton Park Festival. It should be a hootin good time. Last year we drank beers the night before and rode our asses off all the next day. Well, I am off to bed. This day SUCKED! Tomorrow is new and is full of possability. Bring it on.

Monday: The morning run went sluggish and as usual I am taking my time getting to work. Ahhhh Mondays, you got to love them. I am having a good day so far and I have to give credit to my friends for being awesome and being there. I do appreciate them. I think change, even good change, creates a certain grief or sadness. Then there are the band aids, compulsive or addictave behavior, focusing on others needs, religion, denial, staying busy, money, exercise, food, and relationships. They all postpone pain. I am not the best at these things but it is probably better to face it and feel it. True courage indeed. Everything must be for a reason. If there are negative feelings then there must be a lesson and if we feel it then something will be worked out in us. I am starting to go on but the point is I think that it takes true courage to stand still and feel. And it takes a true friend to stand there with you.

Tuesday: Before my run I had to snap a pic of the sunrise out the front window. Running is sluggish today. It must be that I went a little too hard this weekend. Or … drank too much … or to little. Work has become a bear again and our boss is going crazy. It is manditory that every employee put in at least 10 hours overtime a week. The worst part is that 5 hours you have to work for free. My attitude is that they can replace me because I am not going to go along with that. I am not going to do it. Yesterday I read something by Melody Beattie and it went something like this

Too often, we try to gain a clear perspective before it is time. We do not know how things will work out. We do not always understand the source of our feelings. … Why a door closed. … Let it go. We can let go of our need to figure things out, to feel in control. … Now is the time to be. To feel. … In hindsight, we will know. It will become clear.

This Weekend: It looks like a Saturday outing with my friend Monica then we meet up with the Routeski”s that evening for some festivities. Then on Sunday the thought is to teach me windsurfing. lol. Brrrrr.

Wednesday: Well here I am at work and online so I better get this on before my boss comes around. Didnt get to sleep till late and got up at 5am so did not get a hike in. Last night I went on a short mountain bike excursion. It really felt good except for the fact that fall is here and it gets dark early. On the positive side there is a beautiful sunset every night to ride into. Last night was outstanding. Why am I at work so early? Well, I take my car in this afternoon to Montessi and I have to get out of here by 2:30. Chow, have a good day all.

Thursday: Yesterday”s theme is how much money can you get me to pay out for repairs to a new car. For the next couple of months I will be very thin in the finances. My car has 53,000 miles and is in need of new parts. I wish I had a garage and tools because I do know how to do most things. Like brakes for instance. Why should they cost $300.00, labor that is why. It takes 15 minutes and a couple of pads. Hell they are easier than bike brakes to replace. On top of all that I have 4 wheel disc brakes … the easiest to replace. Ok enough bitching. The morning run went very very sluggish. I think my sleeping pattern is not good. Last night I stayed up doodling on the computer, then woke up at 6. Yesterday I woke up and went to work at 5. Mountain biking last night was awesome of course as was the sunset. Surprisingly I didn”t have any thoughts while running this morning. I think today I will just be grouchy.

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