Cant Sleep

As I lay awake on the floor trying to sleep without a bed, I imagine you sleeping in a nice bed, up off the ground, with a big smile on your face. You are dreeming sweet dreams of me … burning in hell. I cant sleep, so I might as well get up and vent!

Last night I received a notice that my paychecks are going to be garnished more than before. What happened is that I made some rude comments to my ex wife and to not visit my site any more. I know she still does. Well, wouldn’t you know, not 5 days since then I get this notice.

The notice explains that they are going to amend the usual 100 dollars a month and make it 200 dollars a month. On top of that the child in question isn’t even a child. She is going to be 19 this year. I thought child support ran until the child was 18. I just read that 84% percent of all deadbeat cases are bogus and not fair. It is proven to be ineffective and actually produces less support for the child.

I have only received feedback from everyone that knows me (and my ex does not). I have been told that I am not a deadbeat. So now, are 25 or so friends and acquaintances all frauds? All I knew is that reports from family stated that my daughter had a good family and they were happy. If I would of knew that she was in danger of something because of my in-ability to pay the measly 100 bucks a month, I would of done something. 4 Trips to the blood donor maybe! Something. But I decided to do the best I could with nothing.

My ex wife says that she has invited me to visit them in Wyoming. The truth is that even if she said that, I lived over 2500 miles away. If I couldn’t pay child support, how the hell could I afford to visit. Bogus.

Since I worked at Sikorsky I was able to afford to visit. But after being a psycho on my site, I did’t want to visit Wyoming. While at Sikorsky, I was able to pay some of my debt off and I had plans to do even more so as I overcame student loans and other debit. But then there was the layoff and my bad decision to come home and make a go of it. Now my go of it is done and I may go back to NY.

I make 500 dollars every two weeks. My rent is 500 dollars and my car payment is 400 dollars. This does not include phone and insurance. Needless to say I have been using a credit card to buy groceries. Should I move back to NY and escape the jackals in Wyoming?

So now I have to decide. Move back to NY and try to rebuild and gain some sort of happiness? Sell my car and cancel my phone to try to eat for a couple months longer in hopes for a miracle lottery win? Or … Just hike extreem mountains in hopes for a fatal fall.

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