I stepped outside for fresh air and could look back into my apartment from the outside. It was a new kind of perspective. A glance into my life from the outside. I could see myself inside. I had a glass of wine and appeared at the window. I was starring so far away it seemed as though the glance peering 27 galaxies away . I looked back into my own eyes to see emptiness. I looked behind myself to see the rest of the apartment. Empty, the TV on, and it looked like a movie was playing. I stepped closer to the window to see who I was with. No one. I was alone.
I turned and looked out across the street. I reflected on the ride that I went on in the morning. I went mountain biking at Blue Mountain. The ride almost took three hours. In the summer under perfect conditions I can do the same loop in around 50 minutes. But that does not mean the ride was not worth while. On the contrary it had character even though it took a little more struggle. Icy conditions and sometimes shin deep snow meant I was off the bike pushing at times. In perfect conditions you can ride the entire loop. Today sometimes there was no control, no traction. But the same silly grin covered my face as I approached the end of the loop. That silly grin would of not happened if I would of given up on the loop when I ran into a little imperfection.
The ride this morning, the movie tonight, all done alone. My take on this is that I am much like today’s ride. I can be hard to be around. Things take longer with me, and sometimes we will be walking when it seems we should be flying. We will have no control when ideally we should have things under control. I am not like that perfect summer loop. I look at things differently and I have some pretty interesting perspectives. I just don’t fit the perfect mold of someone everyone is looking to be with. And I resist being so.
There is no perfection in life or we would live forever. You must compromise, learn to live with others as they are and love the ones your with. Life will deal you your destiny. It is what it is. In the end it will be what it was. One thing will be certain … it will end. Did you fail to find perfection or did you live with character?