Looking inward

The sun was setting and I was in trouble. What got me into trouble was a focus on a goal. A goal that presented me with failure near the end of the day. Now I was scrambling back to safety. As I followed my tracks back out I reflected on how I got stranded high on this ridge. Now I had an obvious lack of sunlight to get out before the temperatures plummeted, leaving me in a serious clothing deficit. There are two sides to everything. A relationship has two people who need to be on the same page. A Job has elements, work and reward, which when unbalanced become un desirable. Today I ran into a one sided adventure. My expectations were that I would gain a ridge and top out on a mountain without much resistance except for the expected hardship in 3,000 feet of climbing. I did not expect snow, I mean from town the ridge looked bare. Why did this mountain not communicate this to me. Now I was angry with the mountain but really I just wanted to be home resting and warm.

It got dark first. Then numerous things happened but the hardest to deal with was being forced to find a place to spend the night. Why didn’t the mountain communicate this to me I kept thinking. The ridge looked clear from town. I could not sleep and in a moment of anger stood up and shouted, “Why didn’t you communicate with me”. Seemed stupid to treat the mountain as a living entity but to me I felt a imbalance with this situation. It felt good to have a nice decent tether tantrum out here all alone.

I heard nothing in return and realized that I was alone on this situation. And, mostly, this was not the problem. It was I who misunderstood the conditions as I glanced out my apartment window. I was the one who decided to do an adventure pout tonight. This was not about my communication with a imaginary beast but something in my own life.  I was the one who misjudged the conditions.  So I decided it would be “I” who gets myself out.

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