I feel bad that I have not been able to blog. Not for those of you who read my posts but for myself. Something happens when I blog. Something that added to the rest of my coping mechanisms just work.
I have been busy biking. Two weeks ago I rode 200 miles all the while working a full 40 hours at MSU. But last week things fell apart. I ride because I have vertigo. I ride because when I do the vertigo goes entirely away and the world is right again. Last week I finished a good ride down from the Gallatin and started to make dinner. As I looked into the cupboard I had this overwhelming desire to blow my cookies. Then I got so dizzy I couldn’t stand up. I spent the next few days at a 45 degree angle in bed. I even went to see a doctor.
She said I had adrenal issues and infected air passageways including the ear. If I were not so worn out from biking and traveling and working I could defend against the infection. Now it was getting the best of me. What a paradox. Bike to relieve the vertigo and in turn I wear out and it gets me even worse later on. Let go of biking and maybe get better.
I’d rather bike. Bike pouting is my best form of cope. My best form of hope. Tonight I ride large … maybe.